


Hello

by GardensOfTheMoon



Series: SQ Radio [2]
Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: AU, Angst, Based on an Adele Song, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-02
Updated: 2016-07-02
Packaged: 2018-07-19 13:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7362625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GardensOfTheMoon/pseuds/GardensOfTheMoon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes the past refuses to let you go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hello

Every night it was the same routine.

Emma came home, she automatically opened the door and leaved her purse on the floor of the living room that looked so big now that it was empty. The small apartment seemed to be a huge residence now, a place so hard to fill only with her sole presence. There wasn’t the big purses Regina used to carry or the jar with roses in the middle of the little table at the corner of the apartment. The tall windows of the right wing of the living room weren’t covered with blinds or curtains as the brunette loved. Now, Emma can see the night lights of the city as much as she enjoyed but alone…

Most of the nights there was at least two messages in her answering machine, one from her mother and the other from Ruby, she was the only friend who kept calling her even if she didn’t get a response in the slightest. Red, as she liked to be called, knew how much Emma still loved Regina, even after all those years. 

A cup of jazmin tea, her laptop and a notebook were the blonde’s loyal companions, and maybe the only ones she could stand. Her close group of friends somehow always touched the misfortunate question, the one she didn’t like to answer ever. Every time someone dared to ask her _How are you?_ A tear dropped from her eyes, it wasn’t a secret, her break up with Regina had been the most difficult and painful experience for her, she still blamed herself for so many things.

And maybe part of the guilt was hers and it was that feeling the one consuming her thoughts and soul, she had had everything in her hands to make her happy, she loved Regina more than anything in the world but love is not enough when you have to fight and you have doubts, love is not enough when you have to decide and you are afraid to choose, love is not enough when it isn’t stronger than your fears of what the world could say, if you’re a woman and you love another woman. Love is not enough when you hide yourself and refuse to acknowledge who you really are… love it’s not enough when you have to talk and you don’t know how to express yourself, love is not enough when you have fear to hurt and be hurt, love is not enough when you can’t see that forgetting about yourself and center your life around the other person always ends in one way: you drowning yourself on the darkest of the seas.

Emma thought she made Regina happy and she didn’t believed when she saw her packing and she didn’t even believed when she saw her crossing the front door without looking back. She didn’t cry that time, she couldn’t react, a minute ago they had been having diner and talking and everything… and now everything was damaged, Regina felt so overwhelmed by Emma’s obsessive protection over her and all leaded to misunderstandings, _she don’t believe in me_ , the brunette was convinced of that.

They used to laugh all the time, Emma remembered when she open the old Facebook profile picture she still have on her photo album only for her. She fights against the urge of open Regina’s Facebook page and she lose every time. Once in a while she found herself staring at the restricted profile wondering why Regina never replied or answered any of her phone calls, texts or messages.

Not a single one.

Emma just wanted to say _I’m sorry_ but she didn’t noticed it wasn’t Regina she had to ask for forgiveness but herself to waste so much time, she wasn’t going to get back those five years, they were gone and even if she had tried, she wasn’t healing.

Forgiveness is not to accept or validate the wrong or damage done, but to live in the present and move on letting the pain go.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry in advance for any error you may find.
> 
> Thank you for reading.


End file.
